I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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