Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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