No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it glows. i had to have it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
