I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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