my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
