dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
