He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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