she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
