btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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