Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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