I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
