there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
