youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize