There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize