He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
