I don't usually arrange sex via text message
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
