He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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