My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
4 words: hood of his car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
