Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
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