This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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