The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize