Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
