Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
