wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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