How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
