chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
