just tell him i said nine months
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
