Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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