My room smells like vodka and shame
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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