this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had sex on a roof
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
