operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
