Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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