dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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