i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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