one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
