so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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