omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
