Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
