god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
