"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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