i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
