Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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