Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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