where am i from again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
