Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
