I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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