so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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