I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
