I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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