So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
