Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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