someone threw a dead crab at me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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