Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
