Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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