Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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