Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
