4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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