i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
