Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
