So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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