I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Of course I have a pirate flag
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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