i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
