i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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