After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
