Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
