so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
