Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
