Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
